Rape Culture

It’s time again to write about serious stuff!

hu

This thing had been on my mind since I know what is rape and then listen to things people around me talked about it! So what is rape culture? is it like everyone love to rape everyone? which is super scary! and no that’s not what it’s mean. Rape culture base on my google search is :

Rape culture is a term that was coined by feminists in the United States in the 1970’s. It was designed to show the ways in which society blamed victims of sexual assault and normalized male sexual violence. Many feminists have provided great definitions of what rape culture is and how it plays out everyday.

So you must think, who in the sane mind will blame the victim right? Who?!!! Unfortunately, here in Malaysia there are some people still thinking like that. Of course not all, people mind is individual thing and it’s not right to stereotype all Malaysian like that. But like I said, there are some people.

I’ve read a fb post about how this girl had a debate with an uncle about rape. How the uncle said that girls should not wear revealing clothes if she does not want to be rape. BULLSHIT alert! how is that making any sense? like seriously? so it’s the girl faults?  and the thing is, sometimes religious talk (ceramah) also support the uncle view.And this ceramah is listens by thousand of people. This kind of thing just make non muslim has bad impression of Islam.

huh

If we follow the uncle logic, girls who wore modest clothes shouldn’t get rape right? but they do. So how is that this uncle can think like that? This is rape culture guys! blaming the victim for rape crime, saying the girls asked for it. So the guys is innocent? it’s because their nature that they kept thinking about sex, if that the case all guys should be a rapist. But that’s is not what is happening!

This kind of thinking really scared me. Like how parents always remind their daughter to stay away from dodgy place but didn’t remind their son to treat woman with respect! This has to change. Maybe we didn’t realize but we are adopting this culture and it has to stop. We have to change our mind set.

Till next time.

 

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Engagement

It’s hard, if anyone tell you planning a wedding is not hard, him/her gotta be a big fat liar!

So I’m getting engage, by the time I post this article, I probably already become some one fiance! cross fingers >.< I don’t know how to feel, people kept asking me but I’m like  I didn’t feel anything… cool as cucumber no? hahah it’s a NO. I am so stress out right now. It’s probably because it’s is my faults but it’s too late to cry T_T

I determined to do everything for my engagement DIY, because I badly want to safe money and I did safe money. But it is hard and stressing me out.

pelamin

So first of all is my dais, it is simple, hipster like dais. Well at least that’s what’s on my mind! I almost get it. It is all white with sofa, see-thru curtain, just a minimal amount of flower and…. I wanted a fairy light. But I bought a wrong one and it’s already cost me RM72. I bought it at TYPO and now I realize it super overprice because the light is so not amazing! So now I have to find a new fairy light.  NEW COST ALERT

hantaran

Secondly, hantaran! this one is really make me want to cry!!!  First of all what you need to know when you want to do your own hantaran is how much flower it will need. it will need A LOT. So please beli banyak2 like so banyak! I only managed to do one! with the flower I bought. HAHAHAHA

bj kurung

I plan to do a simple dress for the engagement, a baju kurung modern with little lace and my mom sewn pearls on it! it’s pretty and dreamy. The kain cost me RM38 and the upah menjahit is RM50, But the lace cost me whooping RM59! it is crazy! I dunno if you guys think it is cheap but not to me! so the total cost is about RM147

I think that’s  about it now, but I will update on the wedding later. Wish me luck

p/s: Not engaged yet!

 

 

 

Feminism

A little heavy tittle for a first post but wattahell -_-

So what is feminism? I ‘m sure you people has been reading about it now more than before since a lot of woman are so fired up about this and I’m included. But I do believe that this feminism thing has it limits.

From like I was 12 I always has this feeling that I have to defend my my girlfriends or any woman I know when they are in trouble or unable to stand up for themselves and I don’t know the word feminism before so I don’t know if it feminism or what but it sure look like it.Now, I’m not considering myself as feminism because there are things I agreed and there are thing I’m not but I am all for my fellow girlfriends.

So yesterday I stumbled a fb post about marriage life, about how one person, woman to be exact wrote how in Islam, house chores should be done by the husbands not the wife, I couldn’t find the dalil or hadith to support this claim but I did find what Mazhab said about it and yes, it is right what this woman wrote. But the guys that saw this, commented that this woman is lazy and searching for excuses not to do house chores. Puh-lease guys! it is repulsive how all these men can rant shamelessly like that when that woman just stated the truth.

Nowdays guys (not all) think they kind of superior to women, wanted women to treat them like king, serve them, cook, clean the house and taking care of kids and some of the women also is a full time workers themselves! I think this is why we often see husband beat up wife because they think the wife being rude etc.etc. Indirectly they think they own the wife so it’s okay for them to beat up the wife. I think this is so twisted and super annoying how guys can still think this way in 21st century.

So this is where I think feminism can be use to good use. Feminism is good overall but like I said it has limit, to me at least.  For you to blindly bash men it’s not good. It’s bad! Women should unite against this kind of men. Educate men to treat their women respectfully.