My bf and I had been together for 6 years plus, we met at Uni and still together until now and as you know we are planning to get married. To say that our relationship is easy breezy is not true and we’ve been through hell together.Being in love when you are in your early 20 is not easy. Mostly because you still have a mind of a teenager and everyone knows teenager doesn’t always make a good decision.
On the first year it’s all unicorn, rainbow and everything nice because we still in the first phase. Even if we were mad, we still try out best to hide our true feelings. Especially for him, he is not the type to confront me directly. But when we started our Degree it’s kind of rocky road for us and I think we broke up with each other for about 10 times! Usually I initiated it.There were plenty of reason on why our relationship was so bad that time, but I have to say that our stubbornness contribute so much!
In addition we both were pretty young, and this is our first real relationship so we cannot refer to our last relationship because we have none. I am an outspoken person with serious issue of wrong tone to voice out my opinion and he is I-don’t-want-to-deal with problem let’s assume we have none. As you know I need to address the problem. I cannot ignore it and every time I did that I use the wrong tone and made him all defensive.
Now that I’m quite older (not that old) I learn a lot and to avoid the same fight, I use more reasonable tone. Always start with “kenapa etc etc etc” and wait for him to explain nicely so we can have a civil conversation without shouting like crazy people.Instead of being immature bitch, get jealous at every girl he interacted with, I try to calm myself by reminding myself that when I get jealous its my problem, I have self esteem issue and I am the only one who can solve it. It’s no use to get mad at him especially when the interaction is innocent.
But of course we have long way to go. There are a lot of thing to learn. There is no such thing as perfect relationship and I am so annoyed by #relationshipgoal because it’s so superficial.People just show you things they want you to see. Every relationship is different, you cannot compare your relationship with others. Some people give lavish gift to their SO on daily basis or on special occasion like what Kanye do with Kim K but do you really want an asshole to be your husband? see everyone is different try to embrace it. Relationship about accepting your other half flaws and he/she to do the same.