Relationship

My bf and I had been together for 6 years plus, we met at Uni and still together until now and as you know we are planning to get married. To say that our relationship is easy breezy is not true and we’ve been through hell together.Being in love when you are in your early 20 is not easy. Mostly because you still have a mind of a teenager and everyone knows teenager doesn’t always make a good decision.

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On the first year it’s all unicorn, rainbow and everything nice because we still in the first phase. Even if we were mad, we still try out best to hide our true feelings. Especially for him, he is not the type to confront me directly. But when we started our Degree it’s kind of rocky road for us and I think we broke up with each other for about 10 times! Usually I initiated it.There were plenty of reason on why our relationship was so bad that time, but I have to say that our stubbornness contribute so much!

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In addition we both were pretty young, and this is our first real relationship so we cannot refer to our last relationship because we have none. I am an outspoken person with serious issue of wrong tone to voice out  my opinion and he is I-don’t-want-to-deal with problem let’s assume we have none. As you know I need to address the problem. I cannot ignore it and every time I did that I use the wrong tone and made him all defensive.

Now that I’m quite older (not that old) I learn a lot and to avoid the same fight, I use more reasonable tone. Always start with “kenapa etc etc etc” and wait for him to explain nicely so we can have a civil conversation without shouting like crazy people.Instead of being immature bitch, get jealous at every girl he interacted with, I try to calm myself by reminding myself that when I get jealous its my problem, I have self esteem issue and I am the only one who can solve it. It’s no use to get mad at him especially when the interaction is innocent.

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But of course we have long way to go. There are a lot of thing to learn. There is no such thing as perfect relationship and I am so annoyed by #relationshipgoal because it’s so superficial.People just show you things they want you to see. Every relationship is different, you cannot compare your relationship with others. Some people give lavish gift to their SO on daily basis or on special occasion like what Kanye do with Kim K but do you really want an asshole to be your husband? see everyone is different try to embrace it.  Relationship about accepting your other half flaws and he/she to do the same.

Post E-day

Yes, I ‘m engaged, I am someone fiance *show off my engagement ring*. I don’t know how to feel except to feel weirdly happy. To be not too cheesy, I called my fiance, fionce in playful manners but it still awkward. We still adjusting to this new phase but everyday we are thankful because we have a family that support and bless our relationship and of course we are thankful of each other. He sweetly said thank you to me on our daily date because I accepted his proposal. I hope this sweetness has no expiry date.

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Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

So the E-day is not as chaos as I imagined, thank god! It’s not too smooth also, but it is perfect considering this is first time my family host this kind of event. Let’s go thru the event shall we;

  1. Dais – So it is DIY style and it shows, I mean it didn’t look professional but it’s pretty. To me personally I put too many flowers, and maybe too many curtain and too many lights. I guess because of too many of everything it became quite crowded. But still pretty.
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Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

2. Dress – It’s just perfect. My sister said it is not rose gold but I search the colour in front of her and compared it to my dress and it didn’t look too far apart so I think we can consider it rose gold. My mom add pearls to my dress and it just sooo beautiful.

IMG_68223. Hantaran – Although not what I imagine, I couldn’t complain because it is so gorgeous and the most important is that we did it ourselves.I plan to do it with fresh flower but end up using plastic because it’s hard to find fresh flower, baby breath to be exact but still beautiful. And hantaran need a lot of flower, so be prepare to buy a lot

4. Food – My dad in charge of this and he chose a great catering but the problem is miscommunication between him and the caterer. He asked for 70 pax for 2 dishes but the caterer assume it’s 35 for 1 dish and another 35 for the other dish. So end up the food seem not enough.

5. Photographer – Because I’m kind of in a budget I just hire my friend to do it. He is not professional photographer but he always took nice picture of us so I ask him to help. His picture is beautiful but since he is lacking in experience and this is just a favor I cannot treat him like a photographer. But the picture is still awesome

6. Make up – Actually I don’t want to have a MUA but my mom insist on it. Thankfully my aunt is an amazing mua and successfully make me look so pretty. I rarely put on make up so I looked weird at first and my fionce never like my face with make up but that day he said I looked pretty, I decided to trust him

7.Atmosphere – Lively? hahaha I’m not the one to judged since I am too preoccupied with myself and how to entertained my friends. I have to say I don’t have to do much since fionce family  and my family are big and fun.

So in conclusion I said it is a successful event. Everyone having fun I don’t know what else I could wish for.

I guess till wedding day?!

Movie Review: Spotlight

I thought I should do movie review. But of course I’m not going to be ‘the expert’ it’s totally going to be my point of view and I wanted to do the not really commercialize movie like Spotlight. Commercialize movie is movie that is heavily promoted. Example: Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, Captain America: Civil War, etc. etc. I will also make a review on the commercialize movie I really like but I will focus on the low profile kind of movie first. Because these are the movie you guys should watch, such an eye opening!

SPOILER ALERT!

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Spotlight is starred by Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdam, Micheal Keaton, Stanly Tucci (my fav, such an amazing actor) and many more households name. It won Best Picture in the last Oscar and get 96% in Rotten Tomatoes so you guys can guess how awesome this movie is! So this story basically about priest in Boston that molested kids from their church and a group of reporter from Boston Globe tried to make the story to the public eye. But you know it’s hard because it’s priest! they suppose to be all holy! And a lot of higher people try to stop the story from happening because church is such a strong organization that connect people in Boston. They interviewed the molested kids who most of them are grown up and called themselves survivor because they are! Some of the molested kids kill themselves. They also interviewed the priest and one of the priest didn’t think what they did is wrong, so you see what the problem here. The scarier part is that, Church know about it and keep it hiding. What they did is transferred these priest around where this priest will continue to do the same to other kids! Unfortunately, 9/11 happened so they have to stop about this priest story to focus on the 9/11. So this story took months to publish.

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This is a true story and I am a sucker for movie based on true story. This story simply make you very afraid of religious body and it’s not only in US but the whole world. Because Catholic Church covered it up from the top. I am not a Christian but still knowing all these kids get molested by the person they trusted the most? that is a nightmare! Some of the parents even agreed to keep it in secret. How is that making any sense. Religion is important but to not know the different between right and wrong? I don’t know about that.

So this story definitely in must watch list! keep on reading to read more movie review, you guys might even find the right movie for you guys!

Travel Solo pt.1

This is not a post on how to travel solo, this is a post on how I did my solo travel and things I wish I knew about earlier.

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So on end of March 2015 I decided to travel alone to Cambodia. It is my 2nd time travel abroad and my 1st travel alone. It’s sound crazy to people I knew when I told them about it, but it’s also exciting! I knew nothing about Cambodia but I do know it is a home of Angkor Wat, an amazing Hindu temple. The reason why I chose Cambodia, Siem Reap to be exact is because no one I know has been there. So it is this whole new world that I got to discover without 3rd person opinion.

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So I book my flight ticket with Air Asia, it cost me about RM400++ 2 ways, I book my hostel thru booking.com, the hostel is foreigners own call Funky Flashpacker cost me RM175 for 5 nights). So I’m all set, to go!!! so excited but at the same time nervous as hell. So my bf sent me to airport with heavy heart, he against my decision to travel alone, he said I’m too small (5 feet) and I looked weak which I strongly disagree and I will prove it later.

When I arrived at Siem Reap I noticed the airport is small and really poor looking but all the facilities working just great. I decided to took a motorcycle to go to my hostel (cost me around 3USD), I had a choice of taxi, bus or motorcycle so I chose the 3rd option. I had a small conversation with the rider and he told me that the hostel I chose is foreigner own and complained it is not good and a bad news for local own hostel. I also kind a regret my choice because when I arrived at my hostel I notice most of the people is foreigners (it’s not like that is bad) but when you go to other country you want to see it people, this hostel is so western.

The rider also offer to take me to all the temple around Siem Reap with his motor and he charged me around 100USD (this is obviously a fraud) but I didn’t know till the end of my trip. See this is the kind of thing I which I knew beforehand! First I declined, I said I need to think first but he convinced me that the temple is so many and faraway, so finally I said yes (but I’m not completely regretting it) read more for whyyy >.<

So this hostel is near the Siem Reap town (took me 10 minutes walking), which has night market (open every night), bank (a lot of bank but for Malaysian it has Maybank and CIMB), one and only halal restaurant that serve Khmer food and Grand Hyatt Siem Reap. It’s not a big town (or city?) but it’s  has everything you need. The hostel is pretty and awesome so my room is for 12 persons and the bed is double decker. It has air-cond (thank god) since Siem Reap is hot probably hotter than Malaysia at that time. The bed is big and comfortable, it has a locker under the bed so I can put my bag.

TO BE CONTINUED…..

 

 

Rape Culture

It’s time again to write about serious stuff!

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This thing had been on my mind since I know what is rape and then listen to things people around me talked about it! So what is rape culture? is it like everyone love to rape everyone? which is super scary! and no that’s not what it’s mean. Rape culture base on my google search is :

Rape culture is a term that was coined by feminists in the United States in the 1970’s. It was designed to show the ways in which society blamed victims of sexual assault and normalized male sexual violence. Many feminists have provided great definitions of what rape culture is and how it plays out everyday.

So you must think, who in the sane mind will blame the victim right? Who?!!! Unfortunately, here in Malaysia there are some people still thinking like that. Of course not all, people mind is individual thing and it’s not right to stereotype all Malaysian like that. But like I said, there are some people.

I’ve read a fb post about how this girl had a debate with an uncle about rape. How the uncle said that girls should not wear revealing clothes if she does not want to be rape. BULLSHIT alert! how is that making any sense? like seriously? so it’s the girl faults?  and the thing is, sometimes religious talk (ceramah) also support the uncle view.And this ceramah is listens by thousand of people. This kind of thing just make non muslim has bad impression of Islam.

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If we follow the uncle logic, girls who wore modest clothes shouldn’t get rape right? but they do. So how is that this uncle can think like that? This is rape culture guys! blaming the victim for rape crime, saying the girls asked for it. So the guys is innocent? it’s because their nature that they kept thinking about sex, if that the case all guys should be a rapist. But that’s is not what is happening!

This kind of thinking really scared me. Like how parents always remind their daughter to stay away from dodgy place but didn’t remind their son to treat woman with respect! This has to change. Maybe we didn’t realize but we are adopting this culture and it has to stop. We have to change our mind set.

Till next time.

 

Engagement

It’s hard, if anyone tell you planning a wedding is not hard, him/her gotta be a big fat liar!

So I’m getting engage, by the time I post this article, I probably already become some one fiance! cross fingers >.< I don’t know how to feel, people kept asking me but I’m like  I didn’t feel anything… cool as cucumber no? hahah it’s a NO. I am so stress out right now. It’s probably because it’s is my faults but it’s too late to cry T_T

I determined to do everything for my engagement DIY, because I badly want to safe money and I did safe money. But it is hard and stressing me out.

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So first of all is my dais, it is simple, hipster like dais. Well at least that’s what’s on my mind! I almost get it. It is all white with sofa, see-thru curtain, just a minimal amount of flower and…. I wanted a fairy light. But I bought a wrong one and it’s already cost me RM72. I bought it at TYPO and now I realize it super overprice because the light is so not amazing! So now I have to find a new fairy light.  NEW COST ALERT

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Secondly, hantaran! this one is really make me want to cry!!!  First of all what you need to know when you want to do your own hantaran is how much flower it will need. it will need A LOT. So please beli banyak2 like so banyak! I only managed to do one! with the flower I bought. HAHAHAHA

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I plan to do a simple dress for the engagement, a baju kurung modern with little lace and my mom sewn pearls on it! it’s pretty and dreamy. The kain cost me RM38 and the upah menjahit is RM50, But the lace cost me whooping RM59! it is crazy! I dunno if you guys think it is cheap but not to me! so the total cost is about RM147

I think that’s  about it now, but I will update on the wedding later. Wish me luck

p/s: Not engaged yet!

 

 

 

Feminism

A little heavy tittle for a first post but wattahell -_-

So what is feminism? I ‘m sure you people has been reading about it now more than before since a lot of woman are so fired up about this and I’m included. But I do believe that this feminism thing has it limits.

From like I was 12 I always has this feeling that I have to defend my my girlfriends or any woman I know when they are in trouble or unable to stand up for themselves and I don’t know the word feminism before so I don’t know if it feminism or what but it sure look like it.Now, I’m not considering myself as feminism because there are things I agreed and there are thing I’m not but I am all for my fellow girlfriends.

So yesterday I stumbled a fb post about marriage life, about how one person, woman to be exact wrote how in Islam, house chores should be done by the husbands not the wife, I couldn’t find the dalil or hadith to support this claim but I did find what Mazhab said about it and yes, it is right what this woman wrote. But the guys that saw this, commented that this woman is lazy and searching for excuses not to do house chores. Puh-lease guys! it is repulsive how all these men can rant shamelessly like that when that woman just stated the truth.

Nowdays guys (not all) think they kind of superior to women, wanted women to treat them like king, serve them, cook, clean the house and taking care of kids and some of the women also is a full time workers themselves! I think this is why we often see husband beat up wife because they think the wife being rude etc.etc. Indirectly they think they own the wife so it’s okay for them to beat up the wife. I think this is so twisted and super annoying how guys can still think this way in 21st century.

So this is where I think feminism can be use to good use. Feminism is good overall but like I said it has limit, to me at least.  For you to blindly bash men it’s not good. It’s bad! Women should unite against this kind of men. Educate men to treat their women respectfully.